BATTLING A CRUDDY THOUGHT.

I had a big written list of limiting thoughts that were preventing me from starting this blog. I worked through it, reflecting on everything, and eventually got to a place where I’d confidently crossed off all but ONE

EVENTUALLY, I WILL RUN OUT OF INTERESTING THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT!

Photo by Brandi Redd

This thought burrowed into my mind and set up freaking camp. It felt like a bad commercial jingle that got stuck in my head, just looping and looping (I’ve heard this phenomenon referred to as an “ear worm,” which is the perfect name for it). No matter what I did, no matter how many ideas for posts I came up with, I couldn’t shake it.

My head was really being messed with.

I decided that the best thing for me to do would be to stop thinking about blogging and writing for a while. During that time, if a blog post idea popped into my head, I’d bat it away. That seems counter productive, but I wanted to make sure that I got enough distance from it all so that I could break the obnoxious loop.

RESUME BLOG WORK” day rolled around (because yes, I had made an official entry in my calendar). I sat with my journal and thought about the 2 weeks that had passed. I thought about the conversations I had, the things I’d learned, the movies I watched, the walks I took with my boyfriend, and so on and so forth.

A warm and fuzzy realization suddenly settled into my being. It wasn’t so much one specific thought, but a group of thoughts all coming to the same [warm, fuzzy] conclusion. I wrote them down as they surfaced. 

  • Infinite.
  • There’s an enormous number of things for me to experience.
  • My mind/awareness is a deep well that grows deeper every day as I experience and learn more.
  • I once read that your creativity is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
  • I encompass too much. I can’t run out of things to write about.
Photo by Harli Marten

I knew all I needed to know. There are SOOO MANY things to write about and more importantly, SOOO MANY ways to write about those things.

I was relieved. I’d kicked that sucker to the curb.

Sometimes, a thought is just a thought. It enters the mind for NO specific reason, and may have absolutely nothing to do with what you know to be true. I think in this case, it was like my mind’s last ditch effort to keep me from doing something new. Whatever the reason was, I didn’t have to listen.

I will be honest, sometimes it feels as though that thought is still kinda hanging out in the periphery of my mind, waiting to strike when I find myself in a low moment… but now I know how to smash it.

=)

Falling off-track!

Just some thoughts.

Before July 4th, I felt on and present and motivated. Then, the holiday and beachy time away that followed created a [fun] disruption in my routine, as did my [awesome] bridal shower this past weekend.

I like to reflect on instances like this because maybe then I can prevent Future Me from falling off-track again. So, the question is…. why do I seem to fall off-track even when the circumstances and my state of mind are positive?

The answer is… I give myself permission to. A switch seems to get flipped in my head sometimes when out-of-the-ordinary things are coming down the pike.

Oh, my bridal shower is coming up this weekend? I must think of nothing but that for the next few days so that I can mentally and physically prepare myself for it! Laundry needs doing? Nah– I will get it done after the shower.

Oh, we are going away this weekend? Welp, no point in cleaning the apartment now. And no point in following my usual routine if I’m in a different environment! That can all wait ’til I come back!

(EYE ROLL)

I’m all for allowing myself to chill and take a step back sometimes from routine, but I need to quit giving myself permission to do it at the drop of a hat. I sell myself short, really. I allow this weird self-talk to enter and convince myself that there’s not enough brain power in there to handle all of these situations all at once.

I know I’m better than that. There is no need for me to allow these disruptions in my routine. I can handle plenty. I have handled plenty.

Onward!

=)