I had a written list of things that were preventing me from starting this blog. Any time something new would spring to mind, no matter how silly, I’d add it on. I worked through this list, reflecting on one thing and then another, and eventually got to a place where I had confidently crossed off all but ONE.
EVENTUALLY, I WILL RUN OUT OF INTERESTING THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT.
This little rascal of a thought burrowed into my mind and set up camp. It sort of felt like a bad commercial jingle that got stuck in my head… just looping and looping and looping. I’ve heard this phenomenon referred to as an “ear worm,” which is the absolute perfect name for it, albeit a tad gross. No matter what I did, no matter how many ideas for posts I continued to come up with, the whole thing felt pointless because why start something I feared would end sooner than later? My head was really being messed with.
I decided that the best thing for me to do would be to stop thinking about blogging, writing, and anything to do with either for at least a couple of weeks. So, I went ahead and marked a date on my calendar, two weeks from then, “Resume blog work“. Even when an idea for a blog post popped into my head, I would bat it away. That may seem counter productive, but I really wanted to make sure I got enough distance from it all so that I could break the obnoxious loop.
“Resume blog work” day rolled around. I put on some music and sat with my journal. I thought about those two weeks that had passed and what they had looked like. I thought about the conversations I had, the things I’d learned, the movies I watched, the walks I took with my boyfriend, and so on and so forth. So much had happened within that short period of time. Suddenly, a warm and fuzzy realization settled into my being. It wasn’t so much one specific thought, but a group of thoughts all coming to the same [fuzzy, warm] conclusion. I wrote them all down in list form as they surfaced.
- All of this in infinite.
- There is a countless number of things for me to experience and feel each day.
- There is a countless number of things I can write about, and a countless number of ways I can write about them.
- My mind/awareness is a deep, deep well that grows deeper every day as I experience and learn more.
- I once read somewhere that one’s creativity is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets!
- I cannot possibly run out of things to write about. I encompass too much.
I knew all I needed to know, and I knew it deeply. There is so much to write about, and so many ways to write it! I was so relieved. Finally, I’d kicked that stupid ear worm (ugh) to the curb. I will be honest, sometimes it feels as thought it’s still hanging out in the periphery of my mind, waiting to strike when I find myself in a low moment… but I now have more tools to use against it.
Sometimes, a thought is just a thought. It enters the mind for no specific reason, and may have absolutely nothing to do with what you know to be true. I think in this case, it was like my mind’s last ditch effort to keep me from doing something new. Whatever the reason was, I knew I didn’t have to listen.
And that was my battle with one [stupid] thought.